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Player Profile
Jon Dallas Jon Dallas
DoB10.08.81
Weight13st
Height6ft
Joined club2004
Position playedCentre midfield
NicknameJd Dallas Porno
Favourite TeamWest Ham United FC
Favourite DrinkWhisky
Favourite FoodPaella
Fantasy FemaleKate Moss
Pet hateDog Shit
Club Comment
doppleganger Jon Dallas

Despite Coxon's protestations, JD is the clubs official male model having both the name and CV to support it. Has attended various modelling courses to further his career and recently, as readers of Over the Bar will have seen, he displayed the Kent & Sussex bedwear range in a most artistic manner.

He bears a striking resemblance to the illusionist David Blaine and like his doppelganger has little trouble getting in and out of boxes - which is of course what we would expect from our resident porn star. His broken leg is now listed on his CV as a career move having given him an insatiable thirst for bed baths.

Has a similar playing style and goal scoring record, one a season, to his twin brother Gary Manser and now that he has just the one good leg will have a similar turning circle. Outside of porn, John lists not working as a key hobby and will go to remarkable lengths, as witnessed at Insulators, just to achieve it.