Welcome to the Official Site of
Home | About Us | History | Honours | Tables | Fixtures and Results | Over the bar
Weather | Fantasy League | Find Us | Profiles | Past Seasons | Diary of Events
100 Club Membership Details | 100 Club Benefits |
|
The latest snippits and gossip, hot from the man at the bar. Mr B. and our new mystery contributor Mr T |
 |
For over the bar snippets 2002_2003 Season click here
For over the bar snippets pre 2006 Seasons click here For over the bar snippets 2006/07 Seasons click here For over the bar snippets 2007/08 Seasons click here For over the bar snippets 2008/09 Seasons click here For over the bar snippets 2009/10 Seasons click here |
1st June 2011
END OF SEASON DINNER DANCE
Approximately 75 guests attended Lamberhurst Golf Club on the evening of Saturday 28th May for the End of Season Presentation Dinner for 2010/11.
Following the Chairman’s welcome address, an excellent meal of smoked salmon paupiette stuffed with prawns with a horseradish & lime dressing, supreme of chicken chasseur and crepe suzette with lemon and orange sauce was enjoyed by all. The meal was interspersed with the club awards and followed with the player’s awards. The highlight of which was the ‘live’ video link to Chippa at the Champions League Final to accept his Player of the Year Award. After the meal the football was available in the Spike Bar for those interested with the Top Banana Disco left to entertain in the lounge. The usual level of banter and alcohol was consumed before carriages at midnight. All in all a really enjoyable evening.
The following was this years Roll of Honour
Club Award Winners:
Chairman’s Award - Bill Baker
Young Player of the Year - Nick Edwards
Clubman of the Year - Sammy Balcombe
Player’s Award Winners:
Saturday First Team Player of the Year - Liam Gent
Saturday Reserve Team Player of the Year - Dom Andrews
Sunday First Team Player of the Year - Alan Chapman
Sunday Reserve Team Player of the Year - Matt Rice-Tucker
10th December 2010
18 month membership for £100
Kim Marshall, has an 18 month peak time membership at LA Fitness in Tun Wells which she can't use since the new arrival to the family, but due to the contract she can't cancel. However transferring the membership is possible
She has a good rate of £35.00 a month and I would be happy to pay some lucky / fitness fanatic £100.00 to take up this wonderful offer (3 months free).
Any interested parties please contact Tim on 07941 476154
10th December 2010
Brownie drops over the bar a line
Dear Over the Bar,
Although having to disconnect our internet connection meant that I have had to send this to you written on some old fish and chip paper, I still felt I should let you know my current situation after the recent headlines on the website.
I’m afraid to say my lifestyle has changed dramatically due to the current economic crisis - probably known better as ‘Hayley’.
There are other factors behind my lack of funds as well, mainly due to keeping both the football club and the Black Horse afloat over the years. Like the stars of '66 I have considered selling off my medals to raise some extra income, but the price of tacky plastic isn't that high at the moment.
Regarding Boozer’s offer for clothes it's ok the old lady from down the end of the road has donated to me all her cardigans so you can keep all of yours - but your right your clothes are too small and if you ever looked in the mirror before you went you would see that!
Things have gotten so bad that along with Sir Bob Geldof, Ethiopia is holding a concert in aid of myself! So any donations (cash or food) can be sent to me via the Football Club although no vinegar!
As it’s the season of good will to all men, I hope you can spare me some cash or at least your Xmas dinner leftovers! But remember Brownie is for life not just for Christmas!
Michael Brown
25th November 2010
Ramskills Report Nightmare
It used to be that the only comparison that could be made between Wayne Rooney and James Ramskill was the fact that both are known to have a “Demon” right foot, unfortunately this is no longer the case as The Pembury Saturday Reserves Star goalkeeper is employing similar tactics in order to get his own way.
This season, apart from an early season blunder against Leigh, James Mehmet Ramskill has been in scintillating form for Pembury and with it coinciding with a positive change in Results some people are already drawing to the conclusion that it is largely due to the magical finger tips of the Portly Pembury Stopper.
Climbing the league and keeping clean sheets is however not enough for the man nicknamed “The CAT/Tank” and it appears that personal glory is what he is seeking.
A source inside the club has told over the bar that there is considerable unrest with James as frequently he is being bypassed in the Saturday Res reports for more exotic names such as Yacine Marouani, Rob Hendley and Dominic Andrews who are being nicknamed collectively by many as “The Glory boyz”, a Trio so good they are reminding people of an Old Saturday reserve team attacking lineup “The 3 Amigos”.
We managed to speak to Terry Beattie regarding this and he responded with the following
“James is 100% right, I am also fed up with the preferential treatment given to some players. I would like to think if I ever managed to have a decent game for Pembury then I would get a mention in report”
Coming to a conclusion on such a controversial subject has been extremely difficult, so difficult in fact that I have been unable to.
Instead we pose this question to you, the Fans
Is James’ behavior that of a spoilt child without attention? or is he merely a hugely talented player trying to get his performances the praise they deserve ?
9th November 2010
BROWNIE : THE PLIGHT OF THE MODERN DAY FOOTBALLER
Over The Bar readers passing through the village were shocked recently to see the latest news board displaying the tragic news of club legend Michael ‘Brownie’ Brown.
The news sent shock waves through the club, not just because of the revelation but also because it followed so quickly after the announcement of his retirement from permanent action.
Unfortunately this fall from grace is indicative of the plight facing the modern day footballer when his playing days either come to end. The great Gazza is a prime example as to are our world cup heros of ’66 who are having to sell off their assets to make ends meet. Michael Brown is the latest of football’s greats to fall on hard times.
Comments and announcements have been flooding into our office.
‘A legend of this club. If only my clothes weren’t too small I’d pass him something down to at least make him presentable. He’ll always be a part of us and will always be welcome back as our guest except for club dinners as funds are some what tight’ - Andy Rice-Tucker, Club Chairman.
‘Oh my God - it’s a crisis. He still owes match fees’ - Hilary Smith, Club Treasurer.
‘F**k him!’ - Phil ‘The Rotweiller’ Craxton, Club Secretary.
‘It is so sad. I don’t think the scale of the problem has hit home yet. Brownie without food is the next Famine Relief I have cancelled all engagements in my diary to concentrate on the effort’ - Sir Bob Geldof.
‘This has been bubbling under the surface for a while I now realise why I’ve been buying all the drinks.’ - Steve Harper.
‘Whilst I feel sorry for him it will save me a fortune in post match food. It will mean I can shave a bit of the next price rise. I should be able to keep prices just below the £5 a pint level.’ - Gary Coldwell.
‘Michael who? Oh - the big lad in the tea room with a limp - such a shame we’ll see if we can extend his hours’ - Warner Brothers Solicitors
‘Whatever’ - Papal Bill Baker
‘One of the greatest sweepers I’ve ever had the pleasure to watch.’ - Joe Brown, Head of Part Time Road Cleansing Services, Tunbridge Wells Borough Council.
‘Piss Off. He’s still got more money than us’ - West Ham United F.C.
‘It’s off. No looks, no personality and now no money’. - Hayley Kyles.
We tried to get Michael to comment but unfortunately we couldn’t hear him. Instead our intrepid photographer caught him outside his new home last night.
4th November 2010
Pembury Leave Bookmakers in tears after Final Race
On Saturday 30th October, 17 astute gamblers assembled at the Black Horse in preparation for a night at Hove Dogs. We departed at 19:00 on the journey to Brighton, by 19:15 and not even at Sevenoaks yet, a whole bottle of Aftershock had been seen to by the back row fraternity whilst Gunny took the opportunity to catch up on some sleep! We arrived in time for most of us to get a bet on the first race and the evening began. As the beer flowed the races seemed to get closer and closer together and even with Hymers winning £1.73 for his dog being placed (whilst also impressing the 60 year old barmaid with his strawpedo ability!) spirits remained high, as several members of the group were having a profitable evening. The pinnacle of the evening though was the last race when Tommy Gent collected £5 off of everyone for a club bet, the number 2 dog was selected. The 17 strong group gathered by the finish line to witness the 2 Dog romp home and send 17 grown men into complete euphoria. A great night was had by all, there were noises to do this again at the end of the season so watch this space.
Picture above of several members of the party showing off the group winnings.
Monday 27th September 2010
EXCLUSIVE : THE POPE WAS AN IMPOSTER
Following the revelation last week regarding the mystery surrounding the Pope’s visit to the UK, Over The Bar can today exclusively reveal the truth. Following an in depth investigation involving comprehensive eye witness accounts we are the first to expose the real story.
Over The Bar was first advised that all was not as it seemed when it was noted that the Pope appeared to be slightly unsteady on his feet as he left the Vatican. Witnesses said it appeared as though he had had a vodka or two and that they heard him constantly asking his aides to sing more folk songs and do a bit of Riverdancing. It appears that they promised him more vodka and a crafty fag when he got on the plane. This explains the power walk across the tarmac and up the steps. Within minutes the Over The Bar hotline was inundated with Pembury villagers who believed they had seen that walk somewhere before and also with residents from the local flats who said that they recognised the hysterical cry for more Michael Flatley.
However, following the initial outburst things went rather quiet and the Pope’s visit appeared to be running smoothly albeit that his head was always bowed or turned away from the audience so as to carefully avoid eye to eye contact. That was until the Prayer Vigil in Hyde Park when the cat was firmly let out of the bag. The alleged Pope was going through his usual routine of blessings when just as he was finishing a prayer he was approached by a Vatican aide who was seen to whisper something in his ear. Not realising that his microphone was still on the Pope was heard to answer ‘WHATEVER’.
The audience was stunned. For a few moments silence reigned until collectively they in unison also cried ‘whatever’ believing this to be the new version of Amen. Thinking he had got away with it the Pope immediately went into the Lords Prayer.
‘Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name ................................................................. for thine is the Kingdom, the Power and the Glory forever and ever. Whatever.’
With that the Pope threw his arms in the air and lifted his head towards the audience. In an instant those at front exclaimed ‘That’s not Pope Benedict. It’s Papal Bill from Pembury.’
With that the Vatican forces quickly withdrew the imposter and whisked him away before the claim could be verified.
As you are aware until today the population still believes that Pope Benedict was on our shores. But we at Over The Bar know differently and for the first time can reveal the evidence supporting the truth. Unbeknown to the Vatican, our intrepid reporter was in Hyde Park with camera and was able to take the following snapshot of our very own Saturday Secretary.
Papal Bill you have been rumbled.
22 September 2010
BREAKING NEWS
MYSTERY SURROUNDS POPE’S VISIT TO THE UK
As always ‘Over The Bar’ is first with the breaking news and has heard through the grapevine that there is mystery surrounding the validity of Pope Benedict’s first official visit to the UK.
Claims are allegedly being made that an impostor was used during the visit either as security cover or for some form of publicity stunt.
Suspicion was aroused when it was questioned at senior level as to whether this was actually The Pope boarding this plane. There are also strong rumours that the mystery includes the recurrence of some undercover work by a Pembury man connected to our club.
We are of course investigating and will revert back to you shortly.
Watch this space!!!!
