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16th April 2009
Steve Waterman in 2009 Marathon
sponsors wanted
Steve Waterman enters this years 2009 London Marathon and hanging up his boots at the end of what I am told is 25 years playing for Pembury Football Club. A big supporter of the club over the years, he is asking if anyone would be interested in sponsoring him. If so please visit www.justgiving.com/stevewaterman or e-mail him as Email Steve here . I and am sure all of you reading this wish him luck.
6th Jananuary 2009
Following the Beaujolias sighting
the club officially acknowledges the Existence of Santa
Following the alleged sighting of Santa at the November Beaujolias bash there has been much discussion within club ranks as to the existence of Santa. These discussions reached such heights over the Christmas period that the club recently held an extraordinary meeting to discuss the alleged sighting and the clubs stance on the matter.
The meeting called upon all witnesses who were present at the Beaujolias party and they all to a man confirmed the authenticity of the sighting.
The only exception was Phil ‘The Rotweiler’ Craxton who denied any such sighting and vehemently claimed that we shouldn’t be giving out false hope to the children of the village that Santa is real. He rightly cited that both Ollie Allman and Dave Hymers are still recovering from the shock of the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy.
Despite these protestations, overwhelming evidence was though presented in the form of photographic evidence to the committee that clearly showed Santa’s existence. This is reproduced below to support the committee’s verdict in the matter. It also perhaps explains why The Rotweiller missed the special appearance and further supports the claim that too much red wine does in fact make you very sleepy weepy.
Tuesday December 9th 2008
Former Pembury Sunday 1st Goal Keeper
catches the acting bug again
Former Pembury goalkeeper Liam “The Chimp” Baker is rumoured to have caught the acting bug again, after taking advice from critically acclaimed Thug impersonator and sometime centre back Jamie McKenna The Chimp has set his sights on Hollywood.
The face of adidas crowd finders, Liam has struggled since giving up on the thespian lifestyle and has had numerous jobs including recruitment, sports agent, Sarge’s gofer and fudge packing. But alas with money now running low he has had to bite the bullet and return to the game he knows best, Liam in the 80’s and 90’s had a thriving movie career with a film catalogue including Gorilla’s in the mist, Planet of the Apes, Any which way but loose, King Kong and OTB’s favourite Dunston checks in, has decided to step in front of the camera again.
Not wanting to be stereotyped, Liam has turned away from what he knows best i.e. monkey based shenanigans and has turned his attention to sports films. OTB can now confirm that Pembury’s own Liam Baker has won the role ahead of Steve Coogan in the biopic of Eddie “The Eagle” Edwards. The Chimp has always been a method actor, so in wanting to portray the idiotic skiing sensation he has upped sticks and moved to Sweden to practice falling over in the snow. (See pics below)
Although sorely missed by the centre forwards of the WKSFL, there are not many “locals” shedding a tear over the Chimps departure, in particular Daniel Manktelow; Pembury’s ball fetcher is glad to see the back of him. Dan was rumoured to be after a transfer if Liam was staying as he was fed up climbing the trees surrounding Woodside retrieving Liam’s efforts at goal kicks. Also the barmaids of local watering hole the Black Horse can rest easy for 6 months as Liam won’t be around leering and pestering them, especially pleasing for them is that they wont have to see his baby chinchilla at the Xmas party.
