Hello luke hope your well, sorry for delay in sending this but myself and Browny are still lost for words after the result. I am not putting in a report myself but instead havied copied Hawkenburys report to rub it in about how embarassing and how poor the performance was. Please copy and use and at top of page in bold letters put the following
Myself and Browny are still lost for words after this performance, so felt all players should read report from Hawkenburys site to face further embarassment.SATURDAYS PERFORMANCE WAS,NT GOOD ENOUGH AND CERTAIN PLAYERS NEED TO KNOW THIS AND TAKE NOTE !!!
Squad
D.Hymers
L.Gunning
L.Smith
A.Lindsey
T.Bowyer
M.Wood (c)
S.Lindsey
A.Donaldson
L.Gent
B.Brooker
J.Gale
Subs
B.Leete (on for Gunning)
G.Hughes (on for A.Lindsey)
Alun Evans
to quote a well known speech, "Maggie Thatcher, the Black Horse, Camden Arms, little Corner shop, people of Pembury, your boys took one hell of a beating !!!"
Things had looked bad during the week with Jimmy, Duncan and Keiron dropping out but Gaffer wasnt prepared to take reserves or third team players as it would have cup tied them. We had enough anyway. Then on Saturday they got worse! No ref, Guys flight delayed and all this before 12 O clock.
Surely nothing else could go wrong? Yes it could, no Simon Hammond, just didnt bother turning up. Standing in the dressing room half an hour before KO with Moonie trying to find a ref, bingo, up step Terry Exall. Now all the Gaffer had to do was break it to the team that HE was playing !!!!! The players came in and sat down and listened intently. Gaffer went into a speech of Churchillian proportions, backs against the wall, looking deafet straight in the eye and winning etc etc. He told the team whatever they do, play to their potential, put the same amount of effort in as the Gaffer will and victory would be ours. This is Fortress Hawkenbury and in the arena would be the arch enemies, PEMBURY.
We lined up with Matt in goal, Nigel, Scott & Paul at the back, midfield of Micky Ian J, Ian F, Andy and Ian P, (to many Ians in midfield!) with Sam the slam and .............wait for it.................GAFFER MANK up front! who hasnt played a competative game for Hawkenbury first team since Greg was changing Ronnies nappies !!!!!
Then on the bench we had......wait for it............you wont believe this...............Club Secretary Chris Moon, who hasnt played a competative first team game for Hawkenbury first team since Greg was changing DANNYS nappies !!!! If thats not a backs to the wall, dig deep , be inspired team I dont know what is.
But from the ashes of adversity a mighty Hawk will rise and overpower their prey and as it is written, so it is done, THE GALACTICO'S COMETH AND HELL COMES WITH THEM......(well, the Gaffer actually!) We started the match like a team 4 Divisions ABOVE Pembury, not a team 2 Divisions below. We played the best football since....well....since.. Woodlands 2 weeks ago. We kept the ball, passed it quickly, found feet, found space, we where awsome. Micky and Ian P charging up and down the wings, Ian f, Andy and Ian J controlling the midfield and the back 3, superb in everything they done. Pembury never got a look in. From a clearance, Gaffer rose above his marker and flicked the ball on for Sam, who raced through on goal and bang, stuck it in the onion bag, 1-0 Hawks. A great finish past their keeper, Dave Homers, the mouthy a*** that used to play for the Hawks but left for better things !!!!!! perhaps that would shut him up? no chance, made him rant even more. We kept attacking though and Pembury didnt have a clue how to deal with our defensive and midfield power and the pace of Sam and the aggression of Gaffer up front. Again the ball was cleared from our backs, into midfield into Gaffers feet who turned his marker and hit a 40 yard pass to Sam who controlled it and raced forward to slot the ball past Homers, 2-0 Hawks and we were on fire.
Gaffer was pulled up for a 2 footed challenge, Ian F was elbowed in the head and responded by putting in another 2 footed tackle that brought the first bit of aggression we had seen from Pembury all game. Ian had arguments with 2 of their players, Gaffer was having altercations with their 'right said Fred' extra in midfield and of course Dave Homers in the Pembury goal. Then it all calmed down, half time whistle goes and we are back in the dressing room. Gaffer, (once he got his breath back) said how brilliant we had played. We had more heart, more desire the best attitude but a game last 90 minutes and we had only done half the job. The next goal was all important, if they scored they were back in it, if we scored it was game over.
We started the second half as we did the first, controlling everything. They had swapped things around and their only outlet that they looked for at every opportunity was another ex Hawks player Liam Gent, who was causing some problems down our left side until Nigel took it on himself to be the man to shut him down, brilliant. Then again after another brilliant move, Ian F putting an inch perfect ball through their backs for Sam to charge onto again and finish in style, 3-0 and we were all over them. They couldnt break us down anywhere.Our wide men were magnificent, midfield solid, back 3 awesome, forwards more of a handful than Pembury had seen for a long time.
Every game has a defining moment and this was no exception.A great move down our left and Micky Funnell looked up and swung a deep cross over. There at the far post was Gaffer, the 42 year old legend that retired 3 years ago.He rose above the defence and produced a bullet header back across the Homer in Pemburys goal, who was still diving when the ball hit the net! 4-0 Hawks. This is the stuff of fairytales, stories that will be told for ever and a day in the pubs of T/Wells. Men will wear t-shirts with " I was there when the gaffer scored" on them. How more humiliating could it get for Pembury? OH plenty more!!! Not content with the score, the Hawks pushed on and on and won a corner. Micky swung it over and out came Homers to punch, he completley missed it and it bounced off his head, he turned and punched it straight into his own net !!! 5-0 Hawks. Now Homers decided to keep quiet, I wonder why? Give credit to Pembury, they never stopped trying and were rewarded with a penalty when Nigel handballed it. But remember, this is Hawkenbury, a team of 11 playing as one. Up stepped their forward to hammer the ball but between him and consolation stood Matt the cat who dived to his right to not only save it, but hold onto it as well. Brilliant.With time running down, Hawks broke again and Andy was upended in their box, penalty to Hawks. Ian Jones stepped up to rifle the ball into the corner sending Homer the wrong way. 6-0 Hawkenbury, mission complete.
This was one of the greatest performances from a Hawks team for a long time. We didnt just beat Pembury, we completely outplayed them on every blade of grass at Fortress Hawks. Perhaps now there will be some teams sitting up and taking notice, the Gafferlution is gaining momentum and getting better and better. Goalscorers, Sam Thompson 3, Ian Jones 1, Gaffer Mank 1, Dave Homers 1 OG. There were 11 man of the match awards with everyone giving 110% just what we had asked for.
Gaffer has always said he will never change a winning team, does this mean he will start next week? watch this space !!!
HAIL HAIL THE GAFFERLUTION